Am I with A right Partner?
April 3rd, 2009 by newstarDuring a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to
her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she
answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances
are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author. Here’s the
answer. Every relationship has a cycle…In the beginning; you fall in love with
your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their
idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s
why it’s called “falling” in love..
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the
expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing,
and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together,
the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch
is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies,
instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with
every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start
asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person;
it’s learning to love the person you found..
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for
fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby,
a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this
dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not
saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And
TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few
years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a
relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the
person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to
work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most
importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it
work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are
physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for
relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are
predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not
just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to
you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse
to let GO!!
Ms. Di
